Lessons from Therapy

I acknowledge the current state of affairs with this pandemic, but we have great lessons in our toolkit for times such as this. I wanted to share some quotes from my therapy sessions that have continued to push me forward.

1. Please follow recommended guidelines from the CDC, WHO and your local health departments.
2. Please wash you hands as recommended.
2. Please practice social distancing.
3. Don't let fear take over ! Be prepared, but don't panic.

Transcript

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Hey, and welcome to the millennial health podcast. I'm Dr J. Cherie Alan, a board certified family position who's passionate about the health of my fellow millennial. I know we're booked and busy, but your first well is your help. So I'm taking some of my most important health messages and bringing them here to you on this podcast. My goal is to share some valuable information and draw awareness to some important health issues, but I encourage you to please consult your personal physician or your own medical advice. So this has been a rough

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stretch, as I'm recording and planning to release this podcast where in the midst of a Corona virus pandemic worldwide and it's really shaken us to our core. There are genuinely reasons to be concerned, as we've all been emphasizing, washing your hands for at least 20 seconds with soap and running water. If that's not an option utilizing a hand sanitizer, that's at least 60% alcohol. And now we're practicing social distancing in an effort to try and decrease how rapidly this virus is being spread throughout the population. There's a really good graphic that I see floating around on social media that I think explains this concept really well. So they're a row of matchsticks, and the very first match stick is lit. And, of course, because they're all stacked next to each other, the fire spreads along the matchsticks and one match stick is pulled out of the line or out of that row. Be in the first match stick to not get lit with that fire, and that matchstick prevented the fire from continuing to spread along the rest of the row. And so, as humans, our lives are more complex than being a matchstick, but honestly social distancing and keeping, ah, six foot bubble right between you and the person next to you. This bumping or even I see kicks or elbow bumps as opposed to shaking hands are more appropriate ways to greet or even jazz hands. I heard someone say jazz hands, and I thought that was a good one, you know, and being very mindful of reasons to travel. So a lot of companies have stopped non essential travel. Ah, lot of conferences and events have been postponed and schools are closing as I record this. They're seven states that have also shut down a restaurant's from having dining guests and on Lee participating in takeaways. And so all of those measures are quite helpful in reducing the spread of this virus. People who are symptomatic and do you feel that they are ill? They are the ones who need the mass. And because shortages are actually a major issue right now, we should really reserve them for the people who need them most, as well as our health professionals on the front lines. I have to say I worked this past week through the weekend. We we definitely feel the weight of this virus. We certainly do. But we are all trying our very best to help as much as we can and even going the extra mile for our patients and our families, who unfortunately, can't be together during this time because of isolation or quarantine or even restricted visitor policies. So I encourage youto be kind, continued to spread love in non physical contact lays. But remember, this could be really hard on a lot of people. This is going to be really an anxiety provoking for a lot of people, so just remember that it's okay toe lend a helping hand to someone who's in need. You know, there's a story that's gone viral. That out certainly warms my heart, and I know millions of others of a an elderly couple sitting in a car. Or was it an elderly woman sitting in a car in her eighties? The woman was quite afraid to get into the grocery store and so asked a young woman she saw walking by if she could buy some items for her in the store because she was afraid to get out of the store. You know, we need Thio help each other out as much as we possibly can and doing it safely to, you know. So I think that's important. I've even started, like calling patient families just to provide updates and let them know how their loved ones are doing in the hospital. Because I know they can't come in to visit, you know, So whatever industry you're in, um, where ever you work, wherever you find yourself during this time, there's certainly a way that you can spread some light and spread some love in this world. And so I implore you to do that. I debated the topics that I thought would be relevant for a time such as this. I've been talking about therapy for quite some time now. We started on a mental health trajectory, and I promise we will talk about some physical health things. But I think it's important to be sensitive to the times and to be sensitive to our needs at this point in time. And this brought me back to some of the lessons I learned in therapy in some of the quotes my therapist provided me with. So she is wonderful whenever I show up, she has at least 3 to 4 quotes or phrases that she wants for Mi Teoh. Repeat at the start of our sessions and I have a folder now, like a stack full of these lessons from my therapist. And I was like, You know, when you go through, whether it's therapy or training or whatever it is that you do in life where you are preparing, right, you're putting in the work right. You're trying to develop the skills to be better, to do better write those things actually matter when you're going through tough times, and that's when you need to go back and pull on those things. You know, I was listening to a sermon being taught by my pastor, and he said, You know, sometimes you come to church and you feel like the word isn't applicability to your life at this point in time, But it's still important to take that message and store that message because there will be a season when it does become relevant to you. And so that's how I felt about these clothes from my therapist. And so I decided that's what I do today, so I'd share some lessons from therapy. I'm always touting therapy. As you know, I'm still looking for the job to be the official ambassador of therapy, But until then, I think I'll share with you some of the lessons that I've cherished the most from her these air, some quotes that she's provided me with and Dearing Ah, this rough time, this tumultuous time. I encourage you to not panic. You do need to prepare right, but don't panic and certainly don't allow yourself to be overcome and overwhelmed by fear. There is a point in time where you do need to get off social media. You do need to turn off the news, and you do need toe have something else. All right, Enter your mind. Surround yourself with some other type of energy, right? Whether it's a book or calling a friend you haven't had a chance to catch up with in a while or get to that business plan. All right, launch that podcast, whatever it is that's been on your heart. If you have a little extra time with social distancing, now's the time, guys, now is the time. Hopefully, I could help get you motivated and encouraged and feeling a little better again with these lessons that I'd like to share from my therapist. So number one and we'll do my top 10. I went through and picked out 10 that I really liked, and I'll share those. So number one, you are strong for getting out of bed in the morning when it feels like hell. You are brave for doing things, even though they scare you or make you anxious. And you are amazing for trying and holding on, no matter how hard life gets. And I think this one, it just speaks to those really bad days. You know, it speaks to those really tough moments. And so I really want youto if you're really going through right now, commend yourself for all you're doing already. You are already doing so much in number to our life. Experiences don't define us. They refine us. I love this one. Absolutely. Love this one. Because sometimes we look back on our experiences with so much shame and so much guilt. And we really feel like the burden, the weight of things we've been through in the past, you know? But we need Toa remember sometimes that we wouldn't be, you know, the person we're meant to be without some of those experiences. You know, I think of gold, right or really rich medals. I mean, many of these are put through the fire right? And so think of our lives in that weighs. Don't let her experiences settle on us as negative active, you know, experiences. They don't define us that way. They've refined us. Now you move forward knowing what to not to d'oh or how to approach things differently in the 3rd 1 ties into the second and it says there will be many chapters in your life. Don't get lost in the one you're in now because your next chapter will be amazing. And I had to I I had to stop and think about that one for a second, because when I first started going to therapy, it was because I was getting lost in the chapter that I was in at that time. And so this one really helped me to realize, honestly, there are so many chapters in our lives that will go through if you think of the lifespan and this varies by sex. This varies by geographic location. This varies unfortunately, too, by race. Um, but if you think about living, you know, 70 80 where I'm currently working, I have so many patients in their nineties I patients who are 100 plus who walk to clinics who walk into clinic with their walker, right? So if you think of all these years that you'll be alive and you have right, so let's take 80 let's say 80 you have in your teens. Ah, couple of rough years, right? 23 rough years trying to figure out what's going on. Where you going? You know, in your twenties, even if we call the whole twenties rough. Tony's were of right, So I don't know. Let's take half the 20 so five rough years out of that, you know? And then your thirties, when you kind of get going in hashtag adult ing hits big time in the thirties, maybe another like rough year to there and then the forties. Whether you have a major event that takes another year or two out of you and these aren't consecutive periods, right? You know, a couple bad days here there. Or maybe you do have a long stretch going through a major life event, you know, a major loss. Ah, major divorce, you know, a significant event that has a prolonged grieving period. But most times, you know, it's broken up some days, some months that aren't too bad. But you combine all of that, and then even you take the other decades and again. Cumulatively, you have another year or so in each adding all that time up, not the greatest years of your life. And you are fortunate enough to make it into your sixties and seventies and eighties, even nineties or 200. Think of that percentage right? Like they were still so many days that were so worth it so worth living, right? And so that's what this quote drives home, that there are so many chapters. And so please, please, please don't get lost in the one you're in now a next chapter will come, right, So number the war number four says you cannot shame or belittle people into changing their behaviors. Therefore, do not shame or belittle yourself. It will not help you feel better about yourself, nor will it motivate you to change. So we really need toe watch the words we speak over own lives. We need to watch the words that we say to ourselves or I have you heard of self fulfilling prophecies. So you have to be very mindful of that of the information that you release into the universe about yourself, right, Because who knows you more than you? All right. So number five. Some people think it's holding on. That makes us strong. Sometimes it's the letting go, and this is a hard one, at least for me. It's really hard one, because if you've been fighting for a long time holding on for a long time, you've invested as my work. You've invested time right and energy. Whether it's in this relationship in this career trajectory, in this situation, in this process, you do all those things and like it's not working out and you find you genuinely get to a place where you know it's time to pivot. You know it's timeto redirect or readjust your focus. It's hard that process of letting go. Sometimes it's it's sometimes very hard to admit that that's actually the strong Think to d'oh So moving on here to number six, you cannot heal in the same environment that made you sick. And this we're not talking about the physical environment per se. This. You have to stretch your imagination a little to understand what this means. Sometimes it's the people. Sometimes it's your mindset. Sometimes it's the emotions you carry regarding a certain situation. Sometimes it's even the information you tell yourself, Right? So whatever caused that issue, looking at it the same way, approaching it the same way right won't get you a different result, you will not heal. You will not get better staying in that same situation. So that was number six. No birth seven. Courage is not the absence of fear, but the ability to carry on with dignity. In spite of it, I happen to be a huge fan of quotes that talk about courage because I think it's what we need most in our daily lives to keep going to push forward. Honestly, we all have these fears, and the things we fear are quite different. But underneath it all, we all have this. Am I good enough? Am I strong enough? Am I smart enough? Do I know enough? You know, we all wonder those things about the major decisions we want to make in life. And so you have to push through that fear. You absolutely have to push through that fear, you know? And that brings me to our next quote, which ties in really well that destiny is not a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for. It's a thing to be achieved. You have to set your mind on this. You have to be intentional about going for what it is that you're hoping for, right? You've gotta push through that fear, all right? And speaking of fear, I have a lot of coats on fear from her, and that's because I met her at a point that I really was battling this fear in She has a few ah, few ways to define fear. Um, so I'll tell you three of them that I thought were really funny and will categorize that as number nine. So number nine is f e a r. False evidence appearing real. That one hit me all that one hit me Because, honestly, a lot of times it's, you know, the stories we tell ourselves the things we swear up and down are happening or the things that were like, Oh, my God, this is the reality or the unfortunate reality. This is what's going on. Um, false evidence appearing real. Then she has another one. So s e a r face everything and recover. You can absolutely do this. You can bounce back from this right? With, if solid strategy, right? With a good mind set with supportive people in your corner, you can absolutely do this. And then what I thought was really funny said f everything and run. You know, sometimes you just have to sit back and like, think of the things you're going through. Think of the issues you're currently facing. And you're just like, you know, I'm just gonna get through this. Like I'm just forget this Forget, like, some of these things that I'm overthinking and over analyzing. And I gotta get through this. I gotta push the suit. Just go. I thought that one was absolutely funny. And then last but not least with number nine like F ear like you just you gotta have to push through this. You get one life. This is not a dress rehearsal. This is not a practice run. Like we don't get do overs. No, this can't. We can't In Jamaica is a real income again like No, that's not gonna happen here. This is it. Like, this is the real deal. The things you want to accomplish, the life you dream about, the things you genuinely dream about doing, and you want to make them your reality. You got no choice. You have got no choice. We've got gotta make it happen. You're right. And the last but not least, number 10 Brave people don't stop hearing the whispers of fear. They hear the whispers, but take action anyway. And this right here, this is the key. There's no one out there who you admire, who you look up to, who you respect and who you honor who doesn't have the same fears that you do. Who doesn't hear those whispers of fear, even in the positions that they're in now. But what they do that's different. What makes the difference is that they take action anyway. And so I encourage you guys to do that. You know, while we're in this moment that I acknowledge how we feel about this pandemic in the situation were currently in, You know, I don't want you to be overridden with fear. Please don't allow panic to set in, Not just in regards. Tow this virus and howto operate in the world in this very new way, but also to everything that was going on in your life merely four days ago. Because things have changed so much in just that time. Really continue to push forward, really continue to drive forward in life, right? Because you are more than capable. You can still hear those whispers of fear, and you can still take action anyway. All right, guys. So thank you so much for joining me today and that you know. My goal is to share

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valuable information with you and draw awareness to important health issues. But I always encourage you to consult your physician for personalized medical advice. But I do hope this information was beneficial to you. If so, please subscribe to the podcast. Share with your friends. If you have questions or comments, feel free to reach out on Instagram at your faith. Doctor friend. You know, I dabble on Facebook in the Twitter too. But just for self care, I think I've had too focus my energy on one platform and I chose Instagram. All right, guys, you be safe out there.